How to distinguish between friendship and love. How to distinguish friendship from love? Friendship and love: concepts and how to distinguish

Friendship between a man and a woman is an eternal dilemma that everyone argues about. How many people, so many opinions. These feelings go hand in hand through life. Can ordinary, friendly relationships arise without falling in love and romantic feelings? Love and friendship have a lot in common - it can be difficult to understand where the border is, and to distinguish it. To begin with, it is important to understand these concepts and determine their meanings. What are romantic feelings and what are friendships?

Love - we can talk about it endlessly, it is one of the strongest and most beautiful feelings that people experience. It has many meanings and forms. Main types of love:

Eros - romantic feelings, sympathy towards a man or woman;
Storge - implies feelings for relatives, family;
Philia – feelings that are expressed towards close friends;
Agape is love for God.

Every facet of love contains a feeling of deep affection for another person. She encourages you to live for others and give back. Throughout human history, many heroic, beautiful, fantastic deeds have been committed in the name of love. It doesn't always have a happy ending. But it always makes the one who shows it happy. The ability to love others enriches and eliminates selfishness.

Friendship is a relationship between people based on love, honesty, and sincerity. Close friends have mutual sympathy, common goals and interests, and complete trust among themselves. Friends help each other become better people.

The concepts of love and friendship, as you can see, are closely related. These feelings simply cannot exist separately. There are no friends who don't love. Yes, and sympathy will arise if the foundation is good friendship. More than one example has shown that the secret of a happy marriage is a close, trusting relationship before marriage. A husband and wife simply have to be best friends.

Common grounds for friendship and romantic feelings

Both falling in love and good friendship are characterized by attraction. People who communicate closely, like couples in love, can miss each other. They have a desire to often spend time together and call each other.

Both friendship and love imply close relationships. The desire to share your innermost thoughts, your feelings, dreams, goals. A loved one or friend becomes special, closer than everyone else. A connection based on understanding and trust is possible in both cases.

Friendship or love is simply not possible without mutual respect. You cannot say that you love a person and at the same time treat him carelessly or somehow humiliate his dignity. Both feelings encourage mutual support. Thanks to this, any relationship becomes stronger, develops and is more valued. And, of course, time spent together brings pleasure. It's nice to laugh together and look forward to the next meeting.

What is the difference

This is not love, but friendship, how can you be sure? While friendships and romantic relationships have many things in common, there are also significant differences. These concepts can be distinguished in many ways. Of course, good friends have a lot in common; they may have the same views on life and common aspirations. But simply good friends do not strive for the common realization of their goals. Only potential families plan a future together.

You can determine the true attitude towards a person by the amount of attention provided. Even the strongest friendships don't have as much time commitment as romantic relationships. Lovers spend all their free time, every minute, on each other. And if this is not so, then this is not love, but friendship, or even something less.

When two people love, they do not have the concepts of “I”, “me”, “mine”, they say “we”, “us”, “ours”. Comrades have a need for each other, but still each of them has their own life. Friends go through life in parallel, side by side, and when they bind the bonds of love, the two become one. Of course, the relationship between couples in love is in many ways closer and warmer than friendly feelings. Based on these aspects, it is not difficult to distinguish and understand the difference between friendship and a serious love relationship.

From friendship to love

Can a good friendship develop into something more? The answer is obvious: yes, it is possible. As mentioned above, strong families come from good friends. No one is safe from love. And it’s more difficult to distinguish this fine line. Friendship develops into closer relationships gradually and imperceptibly. Therefore, it is not possible to determine immediately. Relationships become warmer and stronger, a person becomes simply irreplaceable in life. This is how they have been friends since childhood, sitting at the same desk, sharing their innermost secrets. But they claim that they are just friends, there is no talk of love. But suddenly something happens and the two fall in love. It’s great if these feelings are mutual, it will make a wonderful family.

Of course, this feeling does not always arise. The question cannot be answered in the affirmative. Some will say “no”, others will say “yes”. It all depends on each situation individually.

There are many examples of friendship between opposite sexes. But there are no less examples when it developed into a warmer and more tender relationship. Sympathy and close relationships may arise, but they will not be romantic, but rather like family ones. Two people can be united by common memories, the past, they are comfortable together. But there is a different kind of love between them. The relationship between a man and a woman can be like that of a brother and sister. But again, no one is immune; even very long ordinary communication can develop into romance. It is not always easy to understand and sort out your feelings. Time spent together will help determine this. Love and friendship are the kindest and brightest facets of human relationships. It’s great when they harmoniously complement each other. Regardless of whether it is friendship or love.

Selective attachments find their most vivid embodiment in the phenomenon of friendship. Jean-Jacques Rousseau wrote that “the first feeling to which a carefully brought up young man is susceptible is not Love, A friendship"1. K.K. Platonov considers friendship as a complex moral feeling, the structure of which includes: the need to communicate with the subject of friendship, reinforced by a habit that evokes an emotion of satisfaction during communication; memories of joint activities with him and their results; joint empathy, past, existing and possible; emotional memory; call of Duty; fear of loss; a prestigious (usually idealized) assessment of him. According to Platonov, the feeling of friendship for an object of the other sex is included in the feeling of sexual love, but may not be connected with it. It should be emphasized that, as one of the types of attraction, friendship has specificity. If sympathy and love can be one-sided, then friendship cannot be so. It involves interpersonal attraction, that is, the manifestation of friendly feelings on both sides. Only in this case can friendship fulfill the functions of satisfying emotional needs, mutual knowledge, social interaction and dialogue between individuals, taking on the character of personal (intimate-trusting) relationships. In addition, friendship, compared to sympathy, attraction, love, has a more conscious, pragmatic nature.
M. Argyle (1990) notes that friendship occupies a higher place in the hierarchy of human values than work and leisure, but is inferior to marriage or family life. True, this ratio may change in different age groups. It is most important for young people, from adolescence to marriage. Friendship becomes highly important again in old age, when people retire or lose loved ones. Between these ages, friendship is inferior in importance to work and family.

Reasons for friendship. M. Argyll notes three reasons why friendships are established:

1) the need for material assistance and information, although friends provide it to a lesser extent than family or colleagues;
2) the need for social support in the form of advice, sympathy, confidential communication (for some married women, friends in this regard are more important than husbands);
3) joint activities, common games, common interests.

I. S. Kon (1987) names as such reasons: the needs of the subject, prompting him to choose one or another partner; properties of a partner that stimulate interest or sympathy for him; features of the interaction process that favor the emergence and development of pair relationships; objective conditions for such interaction (for example, belonging to a common social circle, group solidarity).
According to Argyll, women have closer friendships than men, are more likely to self-disclose and have more intimate conversations. Men are more likely to engage in joint activities and play games with friends.

Criteria for choosing friends. Many works discuss the question of what characteristics (similarity or difference) are used to select friends. I. S. Kon (1987) believes that before resolving this issue, it is necessary to clarify a number of circumstances.
Firstly, what class of similarities are we talking about (gender, age, temperament, etc.). Secondly, the degree of supposed similarity (complete or limited). Thirdly, the significance and meaning of this similarity for the individual himself. Fourthly, the volume, the breadth of the range of similarities. The similarity between friends may be limited to one characteristic, or it may manifest itself in many. The determination of similarity or dissimilarity also largely depends on how a person imagines himself and his friends and what they really are.

Numerous socio-psychological studies show that the orientation towards similarity in social attitudes clearly prevails over the orientation towards complementarity. The vast majority of people prefer to be friends with people of their own age, gender, social status, education, etc. Similarity of basic values and interests is also desirable. True, when we are not talking about social attitudes and demographic characteristics, the results obtained are not so clear-cut.

K. Izard, when comparing the psychological traits of 30 friendly couples and randomly selected couples, found that among the former there was much greater similarity. N. N. Obozov (1979) also found that people with similar personality characteristics are more likely to be friends. However, T. B. Kartseva (1981), having studied pairs of friends and enemies, revealed that they are united both by the principle of similarity and by the principle of contrast. More than half of the friends turned out to be rather reserved people, about half of them had the same level of intelligence, and the other half - different; a little more than half of the friends showed different levels of dominance and “concern-carelessness.” It turned out that two reasonable, cautious, prudent people, or timid, indecisive people, are rarely friends.

People who are completely different in mental make-up often make friends. An open and impulsive person can choose a closed and reserved person as his friend. The relationship between such friends gives each of them maximum opportunity for self-expression with minimal competition; at the same time, together they form a pair with a greater variety of personality traits than either individual (Hartup, 1970). However, friends are rarely the exact opposite of each other. Friendships that have been around for a long time are usually characterized by shared values, attitudes, hopes, and opinions both about each other and about other people.

An indicative experiment in this regard was carried out by the American social psychologist T. Newcomb (Newcomb, 1961). He assigned first-year students to rooms in different combinations based on the similarity or dissimilarity of their social attitudes, and then studied the dynamics of their relationships. It turned out that in the early stages of acquaintance, attraction depends more on spatial proximity than on the similarity of attitudes. Subsequently, however, the factor of similarity of attitudes became stronger than the influence of neighborhood.

To conclude our consideration of the question of the similarities and differences of friends, I will cite data from a study by D. Kandel (Kandel, 1978), who examined 1,800 friendly pairs of American high school students. It turned out that the friends were very similar in their socio-demographic characteristics (social origin, gender, race, age), there was significant similarity in some aspects of behavior (especially delinquent behavior), in interests and the degree of participation in the group life of peers. In terms of psychological characteristics (assessment of one’s personal qualities and relationships with parents), the similarity between friends was much less.
Rules of conduct for friends. M. Argyle and M. Henderson (Argyle,’ Henderson, 1984) through a survey established general rules of behavior that are considered most important for the continuation of friendships and non-compliance with which leads to their rupture. Of the 27 rules of friendship, they identified the 13 most important and divided them into four groups.

— share news about your successes;
- show emotional support;
— voluntarily help in case of need;
- try to make your friend feel good in your company;
— repay debts and services rendered.*

Intimacy:

- confidence in another and trust in him. Relation to third parties:
- protect a friend in his absence;
- be warm towards the rest of his friends*;
- do not criticize a friend publicly**;
— maintain trusted secrets**;
- do not be jealous or criticize other personal relationships of the other.** Coordination:
- do not be annoying, do not lecture*;
— respect your friend’s inner peace and autonomy.**

The most important are the six rules that are not marked with asterisks because they meet all four criteria. Rules marked with one star meet three criteria, but do not distinguish close friends from less intimate ones. They are important for ordinary levels of friendship, but in particularly close relationships they can be violated: close friends are not considered favors, intolerance towards mutual acquaintances and even some importunity are forgiven. Rules marked with two asterisks meet two criteria. They are considered important and their violation can lead to the end of friendship, but the assessment of the depth of friendship does not depend on them. They are not specific only to friendships, but are present in other personal relationships as well.

Children's friendship. Canadian psychologists B. Bigelow and D. La Gaipa (cited in Cohn, 1987), studying children from 6 to 14 years old, found that friendship, from the point of view of normative expectations, goes through three stages of development:

1) situational relationships in connection with common activities, territorial proximity, mutual assessment;
2) the contractual nature of the relationship - strict adherence to the rules of friendship and high demands on the friend’s character;
3) “internal psychological” stage - personal traits acquire paramount importance: loyalty, sincerity, the ability to be intimate. R. A. Smirnova (1981) compiled a summary of those features that psychologists indicate as the basis of friendly attachments between children of different ages.

According to S.P. Tishchenko (1970), fifth-graders in the vast majority of cases would like to be friends with popular students; in the eighth grade, this factor in choosing friends manifested itself in only 20% of schoolchildren. Nowadays, the factor of nationality has begun to play an important role in the friendship of children. According to D.I. Feldstein (1993), 69% of 6-7-year-old children, when choosing a friend, put this factor in first place. Among teenagers, this percentage is even higher - 84%.

Peculiarities of friendship between rural children. Interesting information about the specifics of friendship between rural children is provided on the basis of his own research by I. S. Kon. Among rural youths, “paired” friendships are less common and extensive friendships, uniting more than five friends, are more common. Rural schoolchildren have much more developed interclass contacts; meetings of friends more often occur in public places. They are less likely to feel a lack of friendly communication. They have a less pronounced “motive of understanding” as a reason for friendship.
Those who want to learn more about the feeling of friendship and the behavior that accompanies it can refer to the book by I. S. Kon (1987).

From the book by Evgeniy Pavlovich Ilyin “Emotions and Feelings”

Friendship between a man and a woman - myth or reality? Feelings are friendly

Psychology of friendship between men and women: friendship, love, sex

The psychology of friendship between a man and a woman is the most mysterious question; for many years psychologists have been trying to determine whether such friendship exists? Let's take a closer look at the features of opposite-sex friendships, how to establish and maintain such friendly relations? Why do friendly feelings arise between a man and a woman, what contributes to their creation?

Features of friendship between a man and a woman

Friendship between a man and a woman raises conflicting opinions, some people believe in its possibility, others do not, and girls are more inclined to such relationships, and guys understand that it is difficult to maintain such friendship, love is likely to arise.

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Why do girls like to be friends with guys, what are the benefits of such communication?

Men think objectively and can help with advice in solving a situation.
Men are sincere in their expressions, inspire trust, and are not inclined to compete with women.
The guys are always attentive and courteous with the girls, allowing them to be the center of attention.
Reliable in friendship - obligatory, always ready to help, focused more on action than reasoning.
Friendly communication helps in the future in building love relationships, promotes self-knowledge and understanding of the opposite sex, characteristics, differences.
A good friend can give advice from a male point of view, help you look at the situation differently.
Men are more truthful in their assessments, do not show envy, can sincerely rejoice at achievements, appreciate a new outfit, and give a compliment.
For a young girl, communication with guys is of great importance and contributes to the growth of self-esteem.
Communication with men is more interesting - it allows you to look at the world differently, new topics for conversation arise, and your range of interests expands.

Consequently, for girls and women, friendships with the opposite sex bring a lot of positive things, and you should be confident in choosing friends and attentive in choosing company.

What are the reasons for guys' friendship with girls?

In adolescence, the influence of hormonal levels increases, interest in the opposite sex and unconscious attraction appear.
Girls are sensitive, they can understand, show attention and care.
It is pleasant to be in the company of girls; men like to feel women’s attention, support, and positive assessments.
The desire to impress the opposite sex.
The desire to know girls, the characteristics of their behavior, thoughts, the desire to receive friendly advice from them.

Typically, guys prefer male companies for friendship, but in adolescence, more often female and male groups intersect and mixed ones are formed. There is more and more interest in each other. At this stage, friendship is more of a preparation for love.

Are there friendly feelings without intimate overtones? The psychology of friendship between a man and a woman gives such friendship a special status - it is not just friendship and not love, but rather an average. When people are just friends and communicate, there is a feeling whether it is a girl or a man, which evokes special feelings. We are opposite in our inner essence, like fire and water, earth and sky, it is the differences that cause a strong attraction between men and women.

Friendship or love?

Psychology of love, love is friendship, how to distinguish friendship from falling in love? - a question that haunts many young people. Communication can be fun, but where is the line that symbolizes falling in love?

Let's try to identify the main differences:

falling in love arises like a flash of lightning, a discovery, a sudden feeling, and friendship is the result of long communication, a series of meetings, joint activities;
falling in love does not have special levels, it exists as a given, it is difficult not to notice, friendly affection has different levels - weak, strong, there may be acquaintances or real friends;
falling in love is passion, and therefore suffering, it presupposes ecstasy and high joy from meetings, but also the torment of separation and worries. Friendly feelings are not associated with experiences, but are rather aimed at the joy of communication;
falling in love can be one-sided without an answer, and friendly interaction is usually a mutual process - communication, mutual sympathy, the desire to help in difficult situations;
love is prone to idealization, a person is real and at the same time becomes special, the best in the world, in friendship we really evaluate a friend, we see objectively;
in friendship it is important to feel the understanding of a friend and to feel the similarity of views, in love a person is constantly looking for answers - is there reciprocity or not, do they love me;
friendship is fair and demanding to a lesser extent, love is madness, constant worries, thoughts, even having found reciprocity, a person often feels ups and downs of joy in moments of separation and worries.

The psychology of friendship between a man and a woman allows us to understand that friendly feelings are more humane, tuned to the mutual joy of communication, and are useful for both men and women, but we remember about nature. If you want to maintain friendship and not move to the stage of love, you should follow the recommendations of psychologists:

Remind them periodically that you are just friends.
Do not use flirting in communication, transparent hints about the closeness of the relationship.
Do not play family with a person - joint purchases, repairs and other similar matters.
Try to maintain distance; too active communication can turn on other mechanisms.
Let them know that you are not looking for love or that the place in your heart is occupied.

The psychology of friendship between a man and a woman determines: such friendly feelings arise as a result of joint activities - common work, team, hobbies, interests. You can take courses, learn foreign languages, and play sports together. Mixed-sex friendships have their advantages and disadvantages. The main question is: how do people perceive these relationships, what do they invest in them, do they see each other as friends or hope for more?

Friendship and sex

The modern world has become more pragmatic, not everyone needs real feelings, there are young people who are simply interested in a partner for a relationship. The expression “friendship sex” also appeared. What does this mean and is such interaction possible without feelings of love? Initially, friendly communication excludes intimacy, and its presence indicates greater intimacy. How to perceive this trend?

There are 3 options for the development of events:

casual sex with a friend - drinking, partying, got carried away and this is the result. What to do next? Forget and remain friends or become a couple, move to the next level of close communication;
friendship for the sake of sex is a search for a temporary partner to enjoy life; often people feel uncomfortable being alone, and this is a simplified version of meetings without obligations;
friendship + sex - the relationship is based on friendly feelings, however, a conscious desire to receive physical release also arises, the rules of the game are established - no obligations, dates continue until the moment of meeting true love, can last, according to observations, up to 10 meetings, then falling in love or one of partners leaves for another person.

Of course, such relationships seem cynical or vulgar, less sublime than love, but they take place in the modern world, and “sex for friendship” is a big risk - it’s difficult to meet a true friend, and close intimate communication can ruin a wonderful friendship. It all depends on people, moral principles, life values, priorities.

Friendship between a man and a woman is a reality

Psychologists have found that friendship between a man and a woman exists, which is confirmed by social surveys among the population - 61% of respondents believe in opposite-sex friendships, 31% do not. However, the line is quite shaky and friendly communication is possible under certain circumstances:

friends have partners, lovers;
there is no intimate interest, there has already been an affair, friendly feelings remain;
there is a mutual desire to maintain communication at the level of friendship;
friendly communication between married couples.

How to perceive when there is friendship between a man and a married woman or a girl with a married man? Of course, not all spouses approve of friends of the opposite sex, for fear of losing their loved ones. The essence of the issue is deeper - when a close friend appears, besides the spouse, there is a high probability - there is no spiritual closeness and understanding in the family, which creates the basis for friendly relations.

A friend compensates for the lack of communication and mutual understanding by playing the role of a congenial, dear person. Such attachments often arise on the basis of common interests - music, literature, foreign languages. People are united by common views on life, values, and worldview.

It is worth remembering: if a person is sociable and wants to communicate with a large circle of friends, this is normal, but a close friend is an alarming sign for a couple. Such interaction in the event of difficulties with a loved one can become an order of magnitude closer. Often there is sympathy between friends, but they try to keep a distance from what is permitted, maintaining the boundaries of independence from feelings.

Love after friendship

The psychology of friendship between men and women pays special attention to the issue of friendship transformation. Love after friendship is a fairly common scenario. Friendly feelings presuppose trust, respect, and mutual assistance. The friendship stage can be a preparation for love and serves as an excellent foundation for establishing strong family relationships. After all, to create a strong union you need friendship, love, passion, respect, understanding. A close friend can know a person quite well and understand him perfectly. Often close friends can be a wonderful couple, but are afraid to upset the existing balance.

As we see, love after friendship is quite possible and develops well on the basis of friendly feelings, the main thing is that it is mutual and desired, then the probability of a successful development of events is high.

Benefits of love after friendship:

lovers never get bored, have a great time together, have common interests;
the partner knows secrets, feels and understands the loved one perfectly;
the beloved is already known to friends and family, so those around them perceive the newly created couple well, usually support and rejoice;
the beloved knows the positive and negative sides of the partner, calmly treats the shortcomings;
a person perceives a partner naturally, there is no need to embellish oneself externally or attribute special qualities;
Such couples easily find a common language and have an excellent level of mutual understanding.

Negative points:

if the connection is broken, there is a high probability of losing a friend, returning to the previous level will be extremely difficult;
a person knows too much, it is impossible to hide something.

So, friendships can perfectly develop to the level of love and bring happiness to lovers, unite hearts, and create families.

But maintaining friendly feelings after love is rather a myth, because it is difficult for a person to lose love; he prefers to hate or not see, rather than be friends and suffer. Meetings with your ex-love bring pain and smell of bitterness; it is better to minimize them. Someone definitely continues to love and experience torment.

But small romances can eventually descend to the level of friendly feelings, people continue to communicate calmly, it all depends on the degree of immersion in a person, was there true love or just passion?

The psychology of friendship between a man and a woman is a rather complex and controversial topic, there are many options for relationships, and friendly feelings can be the beginning and lay the foundation for the development of further love or the end of other hobbies. The main thing is that heterosexual friendship exists if there is a mutual desire to maintain and preserve its fragile balance. And mutual communication, respect, and help allow people to develop morally and better understand representatives of the other sex.

Friendly feelings are even more common than love; they are more selfless, do not make constant demands, and give more freedom and trust to friends.

Everyone independently determines the name of the relationship in which they are and sets the rules of the game.

We wish you all true and loyal friends!

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How to distinguish love from friendship

Friendship between a girl and a guy can be found quite often. The reasons for this may be different - some people simply like to communicate with each other, others are united by common interests. Together, friends go to the cinema, art exhibitions and clubs. They like to communicate with other companies and problems in friendly relations never arise.

However, it happens that either a girl or a guy begins to understand that their relationship is more than friendship and begins to doubt their feelings, worrying that now they will not be able to be friends as before. Often this requires some kind of catalyst. For example, a friend has a girlfriend and now they spend a lot of time together, but he meets his girlfriend less and less. She begins to be jealous and soon realizes that her friend is much closer to her and it seems that these are completely different feelings, not friendly. Feelings can also be affected by separation. Having met a couple of months later, the friends realize how much they missed each other and realize that the relationship has gone beyond the border of friendship. How do you understand that love has truly emerged between friends and they can no longer just be friends?

Analyze the feelings you have for your friend.

1. Understand yourself and your feelings for the young man you are friends with. If you notice at least one of the following signs in yourself, it means that you are in love with your friend.

2. You are jealous of your friend's girlfriend. You are annoyed that they spend a lot of time together, and therefore you try in every possible way to interfere with their privacy. You ask to go on dates with them, arrange random meetings, and all in order to demonstrate to your friend’s beloved that he is not her property and that you, too, are vying for his attention.

3. If there is some tension in your relationship with your friend’s beloved, most likely she sees you as a rival, just as you see her. You just can’t find a common language, which your friend really doesn’t like. If a friend often refuses to meet you because he goes out with his girlfriend, it means that she is jealous of him, otherwise she wouldn’t mind rare walks together.

4. If you are in love, you are constantly trying to find some flaws in your friend's girlfriend. You make fun of her, calling her pompous or stupid, and never tire of repeating that she is absolutely not suitable for the young man with whom you are friends.

There is never any awkwardness between friends. They can sit and discuss events, eat chips and laugh if someone has crumbs on their lips. It’s not a problem for friends to talk about a time when they embarrassed themselves in public, as they don’t feel any embarrassment. If you are in love with a friend, you cannot behave like that. You will always try to look good and positive, and be sensitive to any criticism. It will be extremely important for you what your friend thinks of you, how you looked in front of him, so you simply cannot behave frivolously in front of him. Often in a conversation you will even stumble if you are embarrassed, because you will realize that you really like your friend.

Friends may not meet for a couple of days or weeks and this is absolutely normal for them, since they do not feel the need to see each other every day. However, if you love your friend, you really need to know where he is now and how he spends his time. You want to call him or meet him by chance. All your thoughts are occupied with the guy, you are worried that another girl will take your place. When parting with a friend, you catch yourself thinking that you really want to meet tomorrow or at least talk on the phone.

A friend is someone you can relax with and talk nonsense to, knowing that he will try to understand everything. Scandals and conflicts rarely arise between friends. If lately your feelings for a friend have become stronger, your emotions are simply going through the roof, and scandals simply cannot help but happen between you. You will not be indifferent to the fact that he forgot to call you yesterday, forgot about the meeting, or that he made an unfortunate joke about you. In general, there will be many reasons to be offended. Out of resentment, you may even burst into tears in front of a friend, and he simply will not be able to understand why your relationship has become so tense and difficult.

When falling in love, a girl is sensitive to what her friend says and does. Therefore, if you are in love, you cannot be indifferent to the fact that your friend drinks in large quantities or hangs out with young people who clearly have a dubious reputation. You will try to change him for the better, you will criticize him and stop him from doing what seems wrong to you. A cigarette smoked by a friend on your part will be accompanied by a long tirade about how smoking is harmful and that he needs to take care of his health. The fact is that people in love try to treat each other with care, so they try to be aware of all their plans and always warn against possible risks. If you treat your friend in a friendly manner, you will not be bothered by the fact that he is overcome by the desire to take part in auto racing. Only a girl in love will try to stop him and talk some sense into him.

Analyze what you do together

To understand what kind of relationship you have with your friend, you can also analyze how you spend time with him, where you go and how often.

If you are in love with your friend, you try to hang out as often as possible. You don’t even want to think about dating someone, since you already feel good with your friend. On Friday and Saturday evenings you always meet with him and even if you are in company, you practically never part. If there is just friendship between you, you can meet several times a month, and that will be enough for you.

When going to a meeting with a friend, you try to look very good, choose makeup and appropriate clothes, because you simply cannot afford to look bad. Spend hours in front of the mirror and not because you think you will meet some guy with whom you can possibly start a relationship. If it is taboo for you to come to a meeting with a friend in sportswear and with an unwashed hair, it means that you want to make an extremely positive impression on your friend and most likely this is another sign that you are in love.

If a friend said that you look simply amazing and this made you blush, then you are not at all indifferent to how he treats you. You hope that he has romantic intentions, since you yourself have thought about it more than once.

If you treat your friend in a friendly manner, then it is completely normal for you to hang out with him and his lover. You react normally if a friend kisses a girl and cares for her in front of you. If such a pastime annoys you, like your friend’s girlfriend, then you are in love. Your suspicions should increase if your friend’s beloved is wary of you. This means that she sees you as a rival and naturally no friendly relations can arise between you.

If you're just friends, it won't occur to anyone around you to say that you're acting like a couple. Everyone sees that there is only friendship between you and there are no ridicule or hints from your company towards you and your friend. If you are in love with your friend, there will be a couple of people who will express their guesses about this.

Note that from the outside the situation is always seen more objectively, and if someone told you that in the presence of your friend your eyes light up and you feel embarrassed, then it is quite possible that you have a feeling of falling in love. If you think this is stupid and you just walk away from such conversations, perhaps you really are friendly towards the guy. But if these words made you blush and think that your friend is really very close to you and your friendship has become very important to you, perhaps you really have romantic feelings.

Friends can go to another city for a while and forget, tell their friend about it. They will not worry that something happened to their friend and will be convinced that everything is fine with him. However, if you are in love, you will try to tell the guy your plans, and will be interested in what he plans to do and when you can meet. Communication with a friend is very important to you and you painfully endure parting with him, which means you are either very attached to him or in love.

When your friend invites you to go out, your heart is beating wildly, and you are chaotically thinking about what to wear, then you care about how you look in front of your friend. The phone rings and you happily run up to it, hoping that it’s the guy you’re friends with? It's not like a simple friendship, your feelings are definitely deeper.

Talk to your friend

If you realize that you have fallen in love, you should not drown out your feelings and pretend that nothing happened. Love is a wonderful feeling, and if there is at least one chance in a hundred that your friend also cares about you, you should definitely talk to him. Observe your friend, how often he smiles at you, how he cares for you, and you will understand the depth of his feelings for you.

Confessing your love to your friend, you have many advantages, since you know him very well and therefore can structure the conversation in such a way that neither he nor you feel awkward.

For such a conversation, you should plan everything so that no one can interfere with you. The most relaxed atmosphere is at home, so make a friend some coffee, treat him to his favorite cookies and share with him the reasoning that your relationship has changed recently and you would like to know how he views trying to start a love relationship. By saying this, you risk absolutely nothing, because your friend already loves you and values you, which means he will never allow you to be ridiculed or offended.

If the guy doesn’t mind and wants to start a new stage in your relationship, that’s great, because you have smoothly moved from the “friends” category to the “lovers” category. As a friend to your boyfriend, you will be able to trust and know that you can always rely on him.

You can hear a different answer from a friend. However, in this case, you do not lose anything, since friendship between you is already impossible. You are not going to silently look at him when he kisses other girls, and you certainly will not discuss the problems of his love relationships with him. Therefore, if you heard “No”, it is better to let your friend go, you don’t need to ask him to think, he will do it anyway, because you have given him considerable food for thought. Perhaps, realizing how much he misses you, he himself will understand that he is in love and after a while you will talk about your feelings again, but on his initiative.

Under no circumstances should you use your friendship and your mutual friends to achieve your goals. This can hopelessly ruin everything; if a guy wants a relationship with a girl, he will definitely let her know about it, especially if she previously told him about her feelings. In any case, perceive your friend’s reaction to your confession adequately and without unnecessary emotions. A girl should always hold herself proudly and not lose composure, only then will a guy respect her.

If your friend has a girlfriend, things are much more complicated. But even in this case, talking to a friend is better than constantly being tormented by jealousy and gradually spoiling your relationship with your friend. However, this does not apply to cases where you know that your friend is in love with his girlfriend and they are in a serious relationship. No matter how painful it is, in such cases you will have to step aside. You can gradually reduce your communication with your friend, and if he directly asks why you don’t want to communicate with him, you can tell him the truth and he will understand.

If you know that the relationship between your friend and his girlfriend is far from ideal, you have a chance to positively solve your problem. Perhaps, if you admit your feelings, you will not only save your friend from a useless relationship, but also make him happy. The main thing is that when building your new relationship with a friend, be careful and patient. Just because you were friends before doesn't mean you need to rush, be yourself and open your heart to your new lover.

Pages of love

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How a person expresses his feelings and emotions. Shows of friendship and love

Feelings are the greatest gift to a person, an integral part of his personality. Society has always valued and values true feelings. They decorate the person himself and bring joy to others.

According to psychologists, a feeling is a person’s internal attitude towards something, a special emotional state. Love and hate, passion and anger, fear and joy, these and many other human states are formed by millions of years of evolution. Someone who knows how to control their feelings, control their behavior, easily finds a common language with people, calmly and rationally perceives the actions of others. The richer a person’s inner world, the more diverse the manifestation of his emotional states.

Science has proven that positive emotions - joy, tenderness, pleasure and others - are more constructive than negative ones: anger, fear, rudeness. Positive emotions are the basis for the formation of life values, such as friendship and love.

One of the wonderful feelings of friendship appears between people not only when their interests and views are similar, but also when they differ. “Friendship is not necessary for life, it is one of those things without which life is not necessary” (C.S. Lewis).

Teenage friendship is a complex, often contradictory phenomenon. The teenager strives to have a close, loyal friend and feverishly changes friends. Usually he looks for similarities, understanding and acceptance of his own experiences and attitudes in a friend. A friend who knows how to listen and sympathize becomes a kind of psychotherapist. If he, busy with his own problems and affairs, shows inattention or otherwise evaluates a situation that is significant for both, a break in the relationship is quite possible. As numerous studies show, in adolescence, close friends, usually peers of the same sex, study in the same class, belong to the same environment. But a teenager’s social circle is not limited to close friends; on the contrary, it becomes much wider than before. At this time, children make many acquaintances and, more importantly, informal groups or companies are formed. Teenagers can be united into a group not only by mutual sympathy, but also by common interests, activities, ways of entertainment, and places to spend their free time. If a teenager ends up in a group with a sufficiently high level of social development, this will have a beneficial effect on the development of his personality.

Often a teenager feels lonely next to his peers in a noisy company. In addition, not every teenager is accepted into the group; some of them end up isolated. Usually these are insecure, withdrawn, nervous children and children who are overly aggressive, arrogant, require special attention, and are indifferent to the general affairs and successes of the group. During the transition period between adolescence and adolescence (1416 years), communication with peers is necessary for the formation of self-determination in early adolescence, but it also has other functions. If a high school student resorts to confidential communication with an adult mainly in problematic situations, when he himself finds it difficult to make a decision related to his plans for the future, then communication with friends remains personal and confessional. A young man, like a teenager, introduces others to his inner world of feelings, thoughts, interests, and hobbies. The greatest disappointments currently experienced are discussed with your best friend or girlfriend. The content of such communication is real life, not life prospects; the information transmitted to a friend is quite secret. Communication requires mutual understanding, inner closeness, and frankness. It is based on treating another as oneself, in which one’s own real “I” is revealed.

Youthful friendship is unique; it occupies an exceptional position among other attachments. Youth is considered the privileged age of friendship, but high school students themselves consider true friendship to be rare. As it turned out during the survey, only 33% of boys from graduating classes believe that “true friendship among peers is common.”

The ability to love is laid down from childhood; it is given to a person primarily by his mother and close people.

If a mother breastfeeds the child, strokes him with gentle and warm hands, looks at him with loving eyes, talks to him all the time, the baby feels that the world is full of love and begins to love himself. Later he will have to discover the complexity of relationships in his family and with friends. However, his friendliness and willingness to love will remain unshakable.

American psychologist Erich Fromm wrote that when a person develops a sense of individuality, the presence of his parents is not enough for him. The need for unity with someone else increases in him. But the attraction of one person to another, interest in him is not love. Love forms a higher level of human-human relationships. It manifests itself as a desire to experience joy reflected from the joy of a loved one.

Psychologists believe that a person must distinguish between infatuation, infatuation and love.

It can be difficult to distinguish infatuation from infatuation, and infatuation from love. A strong passion often determines many of a person’s actions and can serve as a motive for starting a family. But it soon passes. When falling in love, the object of attention is usually idealized.

Teenagers often consider love to be infatuation and falling in love. It is sometimes difficult for them to distinguish love from another similar feeling.

High school students, just like teenagers, are inclined to imitate each other and assert themselves in the eyes of their peers with the help of real or imaginary “victories”. Not only in middle school, but also in high school, easy crushes resemble epidemics: as soon as one couple appears, everyone else immediately falls in love. Moreover, many are simultaneously attracted to the same most popular girl (or boy) in the class.

When we are infatuated, in love and in love, we experience similar emotions and sensations. However, it is still possible to distinguish them, and the best adviser at this time. Falling in love can last a long time, and it seems that this is exactly the person with whom you want to connect your life. But time passes, and people remain just good friends. Therefore, the advice of elders “not to rush” is not without common sense.

“This mystery is great,” it was said in ancient times about love.

Youthful dreams of love reflect, first of all, the need for emotional warmth, understanding, and spiritual closeness. At this time, the need for self-disclosure, human intimacy and the sensuality associated with physical maturation often do not coincide.

The contrast between love as a high feeling and a biological sexual need is especially pronounced in boys. When falling in love, they generally correctly call the nascent attachment friendship and at the same time experience strong eroticism, devoid of subtle psychological content.

When a 15-year-old girl seriously asks: “Does pure love exist?” this already contains within itself the statement that all sensuality, starting with touching and kissing, is “dirty.” The deepening of such ideas may complicate family life in the future.

On the one hand, the youthful dream of love and the idea of ideal love are often devoid of sexual content. On the other hand, among teenagers (1315 years old) “dirty” conversations and dirty jokes are not uncommon. Pornographic pictures arouse increased interest among adolescents and allow them to “ground” and “reduce” the erotic experiences that excite them, for which they are not psychologically and culturally prepared. Adults often believe that this is only characteristic of “spoiled” boys. In fact, both “dirty” sex and the “sublime” ideal of a beautiful beloved can exist in the minds of the same teenager (remember A. S. Pushkin, M. Yu. Lermontov, V. V. Veresaev, D. Updike, etc. .).

Teenage cynicism offends adults, but we must take into account that discussing “forbidden” issues (this includes not only sex, but also many other experiences associated with physiological changes during adolescence) with peers allows you to relieve the tension caused by such conversations and partly defuse it with laughter . However, you should worry not only about those who conduct “dirty” conversations, but also about those who silently listen: it is these guys, unable to express and “ground” the vague experiences that concern them, who often turn out to be the most impressionable and vulnerable.

This is why it is so important for a teenager to communicate with an adult (teacher, doctor, parents) who knows the peculiarities of the physiological development of a teenager’s psychology and sexuality.

Those who work with teenagers must make maximum tact and effort to preserve and strengthen in their souls that thin “thread” that connects love, sexuality and high moral principles; help them understand that sexuality outside of human relationships is meaningless.

There is a well-known proverb: “She is the beauty whom the heart loves.” There is some truth in this statement: love makes a person beautiful. As M. M. Prishvin wisely noted: “Love is an unknown country, and we are all sailing there, each on our own ship, and each of us is a captain on our own ship and leads the ship in our own way.”

In adolescence, a boy and a girl learn what first love is. This feeling is remembered for a lifetime. By its nature, first love is romantic. It is associated with both joyful moments full of delight and experiences and disappointments. For some, first love becomes love for life, but for others it is just one of the pleasant memories. Nevertheless, nature created man in such a way that he cannot do without love...

First love is a wonderful, bright feeling. Teenagers are ready to surrender to this feeling completely, to realize love through physical intimacy or marriage. But such a rush prevents us from learning all the diversity of relationships between a man and a woman.

There are factors that are important for a harmonious relationship between two loving people: patience, mutual respect and understanding. To create a family, it is not enough to have only a material base; you need a certain psychological and physiological compatibility, the ability to love a person as he is, and recognize his right to be himself, to give in on little things without compromising his own pride. Material well-being contributes to the stability of a marriage, but it will never replace spiritual intimacy.

Living together in the absence of sincere feelings turns into cohabitation between two people and becomes a burden to them. Love can and should be learned, as well as the ability to sacrifice, to meet each other’s desires.

The feelings and characters of two people are subjected to serious tests during their life together. Each of the newlyweds carries the model of the family in which he was raised, so difficulties and clashes are inevitable.

We are accustomed to the expression: men are the stronger sex, and women are the weaker. Men's and women's interests and hobbies sometimes diverge, and behavior and attitudes to the same situations differ. All these differences are due to human nature itself. A man and a woman personify two opposite principles: masculine and feminine. Being part of the whole, and not the whole, they complement each other.

During the period of growing up, a teenager develops his own idea of what a man should be and what it means to be a woman. This process is very subtle in nature, since physiological and psychological factors are involved in the formation of these ideas. Communication with people of the opposite sex, the traditions of each family help to understand and cultivate masculine or feminine qualities. For young men, not only classmates and friends play an important role, but primarily their mother and sister. In the same way, for girls, communication with their father and brother contributes to the formation of their own views.

A natural, friendly and warm style of communication in a family is built on sincere respect, when they value and see femininity in a girl (woman), and masculinity in a boy (man).

Differences in body structure and physiological functions are complemented by the most typical psychological characteristics inherent in men and women. So, a woman is gentle and caring, she is less aggressive in character, she is calmer and softer. A man is more decisive in his actions, actions, more purposeful and straightforward. A man and a woman unite to give birth to a new person. This is their biological purpose. However, human physiology has given rise to such concepts as physical attraction, passion, and the desire to satisfy sexual needs not related to procreation.

A man and a woman unite in love. Their psychology and worldview are different. Sometimes this interferes with mutual understanding, so both men and women must learn to understand each other and master the culture of interpersonal communication.

Mutual respect between a man and a woman is manifested in behavior and conversation. Affectionate and gentle words are necessary for both, but especially for a woman. Interest in your partner’s affairs and problems, the desire to help him in word and deed are very important. The development of such relationships begins in adolescence, when the formation of boys and girls is most intensive.

Men and women need to remember self-respect and respect for each other. It is common for a woman to be caring, gentle and at the same time able to stand up for herself, her children, her family, while a man is strong, kind, fair, capable of taking responsibility for the well-being of the family. A boy and a girl, a man and a woman represent for each other an inexhaustible source of energy and happiness. It is such relationships and views that become the basis of a happy family life.

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Friendship and love: concepts and how to distinguish

Love - we can talk about it endlessly, it is one of the strongest and most beautiful feelings that people experience. It has many meanings and forms. Main types of love:

Eros - romantic feelings, sympathy towards a man or woman;
Storge - implies feelings for relatives, family;
Philia – feelings that are expressed towards close friends;
Agape is love for God.

Common grounds for friendship and romantic feelings

What is the difference

From friendship to love

Of course, this feeling does not always arise. The question of whether there is friendship between a man and a woman cannot be answered in the affirmative. Some will say “no”, others will say “yes”. It all depends on each situation individually.

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How do you know if this is friendship or love?

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Friendships and romantic relationships have a lot in common, so sometimes it's easy to confuse one with the other. Where is the line between friendship and love? Should you remain best friends, or take a step towards something more? How to figure out what we really feel? Answers from psychologist Teresa DiDonato.

PHOTO Getty Images

They say the secret to a perfect marriage is that husband and wife should be best friends first. This makes sense - family psychologists have repeatedly confirmed that if partners perceive each other as friends, their relationship lasts much longer. But what if the feelings we have for our beloved man are purely platonic? What if we see him as a best friend, a reliable support, but these experiences have nothing to do with romantic feelings and sexual attraction? There are several factors that we more often associate with romantic relationships, although they are also important in friendships.

What friendship and love have in common

Attraction. Attraction to another person may not necessarily be sexual or romantic. Best friends tend to attract each other. And people who have been friends for many years, when separated, can experience the same feelings as lovers.
Proximity. When we open up to someone, share our dreams, thoughts, goals and plans, then this person naturally becomes much closer to us than others. Well, if we receive the same frankness in response, then a strong connection arises, based on trust and understanding. And this is possible both between friends and between lovers.
Respect. Healthy romantic relationships are built on mutual respect, and the same can be said about friendships. But it cannot be said that if you admire your loved one, then you feel something other than friendly feelings for him. Friends whom you can admire and rejoice in their successes will only make you better, inspiring you to new achievements, and their reciprocal respect will not allow you to give up even in the most difficult situations.
Support. Providing mutual support is a fundamental task in both friendships and romantic relationships. It helps us to blossom, develop, change and endure everything that happens to us.
Pleasure. Enjoying each other's company and having fun together, laughing at the same jokes and looking forward to meeting again - this still does not mean that you are having an affair. But this is definitely a sure sign that you are very, very good friends.

Analyze the feelings you have for your friend.

1. Understand yourself and your feelings for the young man you are friends with. If you notice at least one of the following signs in yourself, it means that you are in love with your friend.

Analyze what you do together

To understand what kind of relationship you have with your friend, you can also analyze how you spend time with him, where you go and how often.

Talk to your friend

Confessing your love to your friend, you have many advantages, since you know him very well and therefore can structure the conversation in such a way that neither he nor you feel awkward.

Pages of love

A guy and a girl cannot live apart from each other. Opposite sexes sooner or later collide. If in childhood boys and girls can be friends, then after puberty, boys and girls are able to experience sympathy and even love. How to understand that you have a friend? Is it possible to distinguish love from friendship? Often one relationship turns into another.

What is friendship? What is love? If you already answer these questions, you can understand how the other person treats you. And yet sometimes it is very difficult to understand. Guys can hide their feelings. They often say that they love, but their behavior and feelings do not amount to more than friendship. In general, girls often find themselves in situations where they cannot understand how guys treat them.

When does friendship exist between a man and a woman?

The question of whether there is friendship between a man and a woman periodically affects every person. If at a small age you could be friends with boys, then as an adult it becomes unnecessary to be friends with everyone. You are no longer so carefree and you don’t have as much time to spend time with all your friends. Therefore, each person usually has only a couple of people as friends, and all the rest are good acquaintances.

Friendship within the scope of this article is understood in the literal sense of the word. A friend is a person whom you completely trust, whom you can turn to at any time, he tells you the truth, supports you, kicks you where you are weak, etc. Just because they smile in your face does not make a person a friend . Just because someone helped you once does not mean that they will always help you. A good conversationalist is just a good conversationalist, but not yet a friend. And if you soberly assess the situation, you will understand that you do not have many friends, or rather, only a few.

Can a man be friends with a woman, and vice versa? Maybe. But this phenomenon happens quite rarely. Most often, cases in which a man and a woman communicate with each other have nothing to do with friendship. Often one of the friends has some desires towards the other. Either a man is in love with a woman, or a woman is infatuated with a man. And friendship between them exists only at the level of communication, where a person in love tries to interest himself, and his partner allows himself to be interested.

It is not uncommon for one of the so-called friends to simply not spend time with anyone. In this case, the person who is friends with him in order to transform this relationship into love becomes an ideal option. Have a good time with a person in love. But he is not considered as a favorite partner. You can chat with him and spend your free time on him. But building a love relationship is not!

Often people in love, who do not really want to be friends, but want to have loving relationships with “friends,” do not understand the behavior of their partners. This happens due to overshadowing emotions that contradict each other. Often, friends who are “in love” are simply used, but they do not want to have any relationship with them. And if you are a “friend” who truly desires to love and be loved, understand that if you have already been denied a relationship, then you are being used.

Should you be friends with a friend who doesn't want to give you what you really need?
And should you waste your time on those whom you do not consider your friends or loved ones?

What is a love union?

What is a love union? How would you answer this question? It seems that the answer is so obvious that people don’t even think about this issue. But here’s what’s interesting: if you understand what a love union is and why you need it, then you can easily build it.

A love union usually means the union of a man and a woman who are connected by some kind of feelings. But how many couples do you know who were able to build a long and strong relationship on love alone?

A love union is the unity of a man and a woman to achieve one goal. In other words, a man and a woman not only feel something for each other, but also have a common goal that they agree to achieve together.

People create short-term relationships based on feelings alone. This is a union of passion until the man and woman dislike each other and go their separate ways. As long as there are feelings, the partners are together, but as soon as these feelings disappear, the man and woman separate.

Those couples who have been in a relationship for a long time and have even lived together for many years, have children together, built their union not only on feelings. These people had common goals that unite much stronger than feelings. You have no control over your feelings; they can disappear at any moment. But the goal that you and your partner are pursuing is more manageable and stable. Until you achieve this goal, it unites you. And if you have achieved this goal, then you must set the next goal, which will be interesting to both you and your loved one, so that you want to be together and achieve it.

A love union is not only about feelings. It’s good if there is love, but what’s even more important is whether a man and a woman have a common goal that they achieve together. After achieving one goal, another goal should be set, and then a third, fourth, etc. Only on a commonality of goals can a long and strong love union be built. And the feelings pass, disappear or subside.

How does love for a person manifest itself?

How does love for a person manifest itself? The answer to this question makes it possible to understand whether other people love you and whether you love someone. “Does he love me?”, “Why don’t I love my children?”, “I can’t understand whether I love him?” etc. All these are not questions to which you need to look for an answer. To understand whether you are loved or loved, you need to understand in what, in fact, love is manifested and expressed.

The answer is very simple: taking care of it! If you care about a person, then you love him. What might be the concern? If a person is sick, then you treat him, are next to him, look after him. If a person is sad or crying, then you fall silent to give him a chance to tell you everything; you do not judge or evaluate, but allow the person to pour out his soul and his emotions. If a loved one leaves you for someone he loves, then you let him go. You are happy for him when all his activities and hobbies make him happy. If your child leaves home and decides to live separately from you, then you help him pack his things; you do not refuse him, but on the contrary, you see him off with the words: “If you need help, then call, I will help you.”

In other words, care is manifested in the fact that you create the most favorable conditions for the life of your loved one. You make sure that he feels good, comfortable and happy, even if you do not understand or support some interests and views. And here we are not talking about luxury and wealth, but rather that you are doing everything in your power and capabilities to give another person an atmosphere of warmth, comfort and development.

If there is care, it means you or you are loved. Otherwise, if someone doesn't care about you, they don't love you.

What usually happens with people? A man loves a woman while she's having sex with him, but within an hour he's yelling at her because dinner burned. A woman loves a man while she is content with going to a restaurant, and the next day she yells at him for not going to work. A mother loves her child while he is learning his homework, but after a few minutes she is outraged that he is running around the house laughing loudly. Can all this be called love? No. Here people do not love, but only want to receive something from their loved ones. Neither a man, nor a woman, nor a mother loves those whom they loved a few hours ago, while they were doing what was pleasant to the man, woman, or mother. But as soon as these people began to do what pleased them, they immediately became unloved.

Here is the answer to your question. If there is no care at the moment when you are happy or you need support, then you are not loved. If you are happy when you finally do what they want from you, it means you are not loved. Caring is an expression of love. If there is no caring, especially when you are happy or in need of help, you are not loved.

Let's take a closer look at the differences between love and friendship:

between a guy and a girl doesn't last forever. Usually friendship lasts several months. But if a guy and a girl communicate for a long time, love is possible between them.
Friendship can last from childhood. Often boys and girls know each other from the cradle. If friends met already in adolescence, most likely they are united by sympathy.
A friend doesn't court a friend. If a guy gives you gifts, gives you compliments, looks after you, takes you to cinemas and restaurants, he shows signs of attention as if he were treating a girl.
A loving guy is sensitive to a girl’s words and actions. If you notice that a guy gets offended by your barbs, jokes, words about other guys, etc., he may not be friendly towards you.
A friend is at ease and free with you, he does not pay attention to how interested you are in him and how you evaluate him. If a guy is just talking to you, then he doesn’t care whether you like him or not. He may come unshaven, in dirty clothes, tell you about other girls, joke and even be sarcastic at times. All this clearly points to friendship. If he loved, he would try to please you and not cause negative emotions.
A loving guy is irritable, demanding, and is constantly in a good mood. He catches your gaze and tries to understand how you feel about him.
forces you to give without expecting reciprocity, and friendship always involves reciprocity. If a guy is ready to give you everything he has, he loves you. And if a guy comes to an agreement with you, stipulates conditions, remembers you about his help in order to encourage you to help him, he becomes friends with you.
There are benefits to friendship. Friends should receive from each other what they communicate for. In love, selfless giving usually occurs.
Friends sooner or later stop communicating closely as their interests and views change. If a guy leaves you, it means he is friends with you. If he loved you, he wouldn't leave you.
Love makes a guy propose a relationship to a girl. Believe me, while you are free, the guy understands that you may have relationships with other gentlemen. Therefore, he will definitely offer you a relationship (or be jealous if you have other guys).
Love encourages a guy to be intimate with a girl. But know this: sex does not happen between friends. If a guy wants you, he either loves you or is just using you. In the latter case, he uses your feelings, offering only friendly sex, or wants to sleep with you without having a relationship. If a guy is friends, then he doesn't want you.

If a guy offers you sex, but you are not officially in a relationship, he is simply using you as a sex toy. He doesn’t want a relationship with you and doesn’t love you, but he’s interested in sex. In such a situation there is no friendship or love. What to do is up to the girl herself.

Is it possible to turn friendship into love in the end?

Friendship can become love if only both partners want and feel it. Understand that if a guy saw you as a girl, he would have already reciprocated your feelings, if not earlier he would have started proposing a relationship. However, if you propose a relationship, and the guy prevaricates, talks about a future in which each of you individually is happy, he is clearly hinting at his reluctance to be with you.

He sees you as a great friend. Even if you start manipulating him and creating artificial love, you will have to do this constantly. Is this the kind of relationship you want? If you want love, you have to find a guy who likes you. You can try to become the way your friend will like you, but this means always being different, not yourself. Do you think this will be love?